Sometimes when it gets really quiet inside my head, I can hear my own thoughts. It is when the words tranquil and serene are not too embarrassing to use to describe my state of mind. I feel the world around me continue its living and suddenly I am the only one that is constant. In a different timezone. A separate dimension, on the same planet.
I wonder if I am real, or if the people around me are. They are usually the ones who are suspect. They are actors put down on earth for me – and life is just an elaborate act. A Truman show.
Odd thoughts creep into my mind, everyone else are puppets and I am the only absolute. Nothing else matters but me. I feel threatened by their presence, by their talking, by their breathing.
I think about screaming, slapping, killing. Just to see their reactions. Just to see if I’m as real as them, as fake as they are.
And then I stop thinking. And just continue living.
I promise I’m not deranged.