Monthly Archives

August 2017

Writing

Things I don’t know today

I don’t know if
I love you today
I know I enjoy
doing the things we do
Learning, traveling and
getting lazy with you
But I don’t know if
I love you today

I don’t know if
I want to see you today
I know I feel grateful for you
your care and your time
and your weeks spent at mine
But I don’t know if
I want to see you today

I don’t know if
We can fix this today
Or tomorrow or when
Maybe talk about it, then
Make promises to change
But see it happen again.

Daily

In dependence

Years of my mother telling me not to have a boyfriend, and telling me that it’s perfectly okay (and probably better) if I don’t get married. Now it seems everyone expects me to and maybe I’ve bought into it. For no reason beyond the fact that we’ve been together for a long time.

There are some days when it doesn’t sound like a bad idea. But there are other days too.

I don’t want a legal contract with another human being to bind us in utilitarian harmony. What I want is an apartment. What I want is to get back to Australia for a month or three. What I want is to live away.

Has my desire to be independent turned into a dependence on someone else?