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Now we know

The past month has been a crazy ride on this adulting train, and we’re not even reaching our station yet. Some of our friends already know this, but Clif and I are house hunting.

I’m met with good wishes when people find out – omg you guys are getting married?! – approval, congratulations and general positivity. It is a sentiment I then dampen by telling them not to congratulate me – it is not an achievement I feel I’ve earned and so doesn’t count. All I did was to agree to be married. It’s not something we had to work very hard for.

In fact, I didn’t feel a need to tell anyone, and I think everyone was confused by this. Posting a picture of my wrinkly dry hand on social media would have been easy..but I didn’t feel right doing it (which may have caused more problems on my end because I had to explain exactly this).

Congratulate me if and when we manage to be happily married for 10 years. I would probably have earned it then. Or maybe if we manage to organize a wedding/party because that would be an incredible feat considering our lack of event organization skills and general laziness.

So the only people we really officially told were our immediate families. Our friends found out when we were trying to get advice on buying property together. Yes! It is a thing, we are trying to crawl ahead in the next phase of adulthood. Now you know. (Maybe, or maybe you’re reading this in the future in which case, you’re late in knowing and it’s not your fault because I didn’t tell you.)

And I wish I’d known that it’d be this difficult (and expensive) to get a house we like. Maybe we’d have started listening about talks about Bidadari. It was a word thrown around a few years ago and I’d completely ignored it. Coming back to mock me every time I think about BTOs and when I see that my only options are Punggol, Sengkang, Yishun and Tengah. Where? No. Waiting 5 more years for a new flat to be built would mean that I’d be 35 when I move out. When? No.

So we’re making appointments. Researching questions to ask and things to look out for. Calculating budgets. Getting payslips. Submitting loan applications. Practicing my poker face and nonchalance (though I’m told I’m good at this). Viewing houses. Listening and getting advice from family and friends. Ignoring bits of advice from the family.

Wow they should’ve prepared us for this in school.

Finding out how much renovations cost. Finding out renovations don’t include furniture. Learning that people can expect housing prices to increase but it doesn’t mean that it’d be possible to sell for that amount. Learning that road noise in Singapore is a pain. Wondering if I would be able to be happy in a world where I could never open my windows ever or be subject to dust and fumes. Learning that if we’re serious we need to bring a chequebook along to make an offer.

Making plans. Downloading an amazing budget app to manage my finances better now. Finally setting up GIRO for my credit cards and handphone bills.

Popping by the unit we’re interested in unannounced to look at it at night and to meet the owner. Trying to learn negotiation tactics to make an offer below its listed price. Trying to sound less apologetic and like I know what I’m saying. Trying to not feel annoyed when I can’t get what I want. Asking for help for all of this.

They should’ve prepared us for this in school.

Things that make you an adult. Things all adults should know how to do. Things people don’t tell you about adulthood. There are tons of articles about this #adulting thing. Is it obvious that nobody has a clue?

We’re going to handle it. And this quote I stumbled upon just today makes me feel like it’s gonna be okay.

Your success in life is largely dependent on the number of awkward conversations you’re willing to have. – Tim Ferris

Now I know.

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